Love Language Test

What are the five Love Languages?

Words of Affirmation

These are verbal expressions of care and affection. Think: “Thanks for putting the kids to bed” or “You looked really nice today.” Conversely, insults can be particularly upsetting to people who favor words of affirmation.

Gifts

Tangible and intangible items that make you feel appreciated or noticed. Going to your partner’s concert, for example, is as much of a gift as flowers or that new wine decanter you want. To individuals who favor this love language, the absence of everyday gestures or a missed special occasion are particularly hurtful.

Acts of Service

Doing something helpful or kind for your partner. Think: Waking up with the baby in the middle of the night or doing the dishes so your partner can relax. For someone who favors acts of service, ambivalence or a lack of support are more damaging than anything else.

Quality Time

Engaging in an activity together, particularly one you both enjoy, like a walk after dinner or talking with your partner over a platter of nachos. If this is your love language, having a distracted or distant partner that makes you feel unseen or unheard is the biggest pitfall.

Physical Touch

Physical expressions of love (whether sexual or more platonic), such as holding hands, a back scratch, a hug, a kiss, or intercourse. The absence of touch can leave these individuals feeling isolated in a relationship.

Here’s how to identify your love language.

Knowing your love language can be one of the single most important things in a relationship.  Without this knowledge you can miss that your partner is being loving and caring.  Unfortunately, this can result in a vicious cycle of resentment that can ultimately lead to divorce or a breakup.

If you really care and respect your partner, take the time to acquaint yourself with your love language and theirs. With this knowledge, you’ll be better equipped to meet your partner’s emotional needs.

Start by thinking about how you like to give and receive love.  Ask yourself: When I want to show affection, how do I do it? Do you cook a really nice meal? Or maybe you send an appreciative text or buy concert tickets. Often, the way you express love can provide clues about what kind of love you most appreciate.

Next, think about what makes you feel most loved and cared for.   Do you feel closest to your partner when they do something helpful, or do you crave physical touch? Dig deep by thinking back to all your past relationships—both romantic and otherwise.

For this quiz answer “true” if it is mostly true most of the time and “not true” if it is not frequently true most of the time.  The point is to find the strongest tendency you lean towards.

This test is designed to find the Love Language that you like to receive, not the Love Language that you like to give.  This knowledge is helpful in communicating your needs to your partner and evaluating potential partners for compatibility.

1.I like to receive notes of affirmation from my partner

True

Not true

2.I like to be hugged or kissed by my partner

True

Not true

3.I like to spend one-­‐to-­‐one time with my partner

True

Not true

4.I feel loved when my partner gives practical help to me

True

Not true

5.I like it when my partner gives me gifts

True

Not true

6.I like leisurely visits with friends and loved ones

True

Not true

7.I feel loved when my partner puts their arm around me

True

Not true

8.I feel loved when I receive a gift from my partner

True

Not true

9.I like to go places with my partner

True

Not true

10.I like to hold hands with my partner

True

Not true

11.I like my partner to tell me that I am appreciated

True

Not true

12.I like for my partner to look at me when we are talking

True

Not true

13.I like when my partner gives me cards, flowers, or other small tokens

True

Not true

14.I feel loved when my partner affirms me

True

Not true

15.Words of acceptance from my partner are important to me

True

Not true

16.I know my partner loves me when they help me

True

Not true

17.What my partner does affects me more than what he or she says

True

Not true

18.Hugs make me feel connected and valued

True

Not true

19.I like to hear my partner say: Would you help me cook dinner?

True

Not true

20.I like to hear my partner say: I like going fun places with you!

True

Not true

21.I like to hear my partner say: I’ve got a surprise for you!

True

Not true

22.I like to hear my partner say: We can make something really cool together.

True

Not true

23.I like to hear my partner say: How did you know how to do that? You’re brilliant.

True

Not true

24.I like to hear my partner say: I can’t wait to give you your present!

True

Not true

25.I like to hear my partner say: Would you like for me to scratch your back?

True

Not true

26.I like to hear my partner say: Let’s spend the day doing whatever you want to do.

True

Not true

27.I feel loved when my partner does things to help me

True

Not true

28.I feel loved when my partner gives me a reassuring kiss or hug

True

Not true

29.I value praise and try to avoid criticism

True

Not true

30.Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift

True

Not true

31.I enjoy frequent physical contact with my partner

True

Not true

32.I enjoy frquent words of encouragement and affirmation from my partner

True

Not true

33.I know a my partner is thinking of me when they give me a gift

True

Not true

34.I feel loved when a my partner helps me with my chores or tasks

True

Not true

35.I really enjoy the feeling I get when my partner gives me undivided attention

True

Not true

36.I really enjoy the feeling I get when my partner does some act to serve me

True

Not true

37.I like for my partner to go out of their way to kiss or hug me often

True

Not true

38.I like when my partner listens to me, showing genuine interest in what I’m saying

True

Not true

39.I feel loved when my partner celebrates my birthday with a gift

True

Not true

40.I feel loved when my partner celebrates my birthday with meaningful words

True

Not true